This is a tough one, not gonna lie. I got the ask and chuckled for a second and then realized Okay I have to actually figure out what I’d write for that.
I think this one would be an Elias story for sure. It has a level of absurdity that just fits the guy well when it gets down to it. The title would come from Elias deciding to call somebody “Crab Cakes” for being too grumpy. The guy is a massive dork and always looking for new ways to tease people.
Someday, I’ll write a story like that, anon, and I’ll title it Crab Cakes just for you! Thanks for sending in a title~