Tag: dissociative identity disorder

NaNoWriMo Day 30

Neon BrightLeave a comment

It’s a win!

I made it to the end of the goal despite a cold really kicking my butt for the last half of the month. I’m so pleased with how it came together, especially with all the new characters and the perspective(s) of a plural system.

Finnraal did a good job. It’s time for him to get some much deserved rest.

Word Count: 50040

Excerpt:

“No,” he said wearily, revealing none of his qualms. “I’m afraid that is a mission too large for someone like me.”

“But … you saved all of us!”

Finnraal sighed. “Someone else made me aware of the situation. He told me a lot of children were at risk here.” He glanced down at where Elodie hid timidly behind him. “My mission is to make sure kids like us don’t grow up alone.”

The young man pursed his lips and glanced Elodie’s way, and then back at the group of young people milling about near the center of the room. “There’s not all that many of us,” he said, some doubt creeping into his voice again. “And we’re all so fresh. What if they don’t listen?”   

Finnraal smiled. “If Eshin here has taught me anything, it’s that people your age have no trouble at all making yourselves known and heard,” he quipped. “And I’m not that much older than you, if you’re after credentials. I would have to shout just as loudly, but my voice is more useful when it’s quiet.”

NaNoWriMo Day 29

Neon BrightLeave a comment

Happy (late) Thanksgiving to those of you who celebrated it! I had a nice quiet day with my mom decorating cookies yesterday. And then today I’ve slept a lot and avoided any sort of stores. Oh, and also I’ve made a lot of progress on my NaNo project, which is awesome. I don’t usually like running right up until the end of the month with it, but the remainder is pretty manageable and I’m honestly really proud of how much I got written with a brand new story and batch of characters.

Word Count: 49386

Excerpt: 

“Finn?” Eshin tilted his head to try to meet his gaze.

Finnraal didn’t know how long he’d been standing there staring. His body ached and he was tired right to his bones. He shook himself off and took a steadying breath, if only to stay awake until he could get himself home safely.

“Still Finn, right?” Eshin asked again, this time quieter and with a deeper understanding.

Finnraal nodded absently, then blinked. “Yes. Finn, at the moment. Mostly.”

Eshin smiled. “I wanted to introduce you to someone I met when I arrived here,” he said, before turning just enough to reveal the small figure hiding shyly behind him.

It was a young human child, wispy and shaky. One of her hands had been replaced with a mechanical one. The fingers on it twitched in constant, jerky motions as if not calibrated quite right.

“This is Elodie,” Eshin said quietly, even as Finnraal knelt down to be on her level. “Elodie, this is Finn. The one I told you about.”

Elodie scanned Finnraal with a guarded expression in her too young and too knowing eyes. She’d been through quite enough already, and she inched closer to Eshin before she found the bravery to speak. “You have a house for … little kids like me?” she said. Her voice shook as if she might cry at any second.

Finnraal smiled and held out a hand. “Little kids like you, and big kids like Eshin,” he said. “Sometimes it gets a little noisy, but if you don’t mind having a lot of brothers and sisters, it’s not so bad.”

NaNoWriMo Day 25

Neon BrightLeave a comment

I’m making a post before I start writing today to prove I’m still alive and working on Nano! It’s just been very busy and I keep finishing up words late at night and just conking out in bed. It’s been … a crazy month, to put it lightly. But! The story is really coming along and I’m very excited about that. 😀

Riddle continues to be a snarky little smokeball. Who dares cause mischief when it’s been clearly established that he is the mischief boss?

Word Count: 44863

Excerpt:

The world always looked so solid when he fronted, or came too close to one of the others. Their perception of everything was so grounded. Riddle, as a child of the abstract, tended to view everything by the webs that tangled between them when he was in the inner world.

There were almost no webs in sight here, which offered him a very obvious clue.

“Someone trying to mess?” he called out. He didn’t have a mouth or a voice box with which to speak, but all the same he conveyed a coy yet threatening tone without issue. He roiled with glee when wherever he was didn’t even bother to echo his question back to him.

“Come out, come out, wherever you aaaaare,” he hissed. This time, he indulged in the sinister tone he’d used as a pure habit back when the body was much younger. Back then, he’d been truly nasty to his headmates on occasion.

He was well past that, but that didn’t mean he’d let the old skills go to waste. Something was afoot, and he was already following one of the webs tugging at his awareness. At the end of that link, he would find answers to who exactly thought they could cause trouble in his headspace.

That was his job, and everyone else had kindly agreed to it.

NaNoWriMo Day 19

Neon BrightLeave a comment

Boy was I tired today. I wasn’t sure I would get very many words done today, but then I started writing a couple of important scenes to make sure I’d have plenty of motivation, and I actually surpassed my daily goal! That’s always a good feeling.

This is an odd scene for Kala. She’s not the same race as the body, so her culture shock can be twofold in some ways.

Word Count: 38261

Excerpt:

Kala glanced down and frowned in confusion at what she found. She was in her own appearance, something she never saw outside the inner world. Tall, slender, with thick black curls piled high on her head. Gold jewelry and gems adorned every finger of both hands, and there was a pleasant warmth in her cheeks as if she’d snuck some whiskey.

Everyone around her spoke a language she didn’t know, but that she recognized all the same. It was the language that colored her accent. She never knew why she’d come into being not knowing the language, and the accent was all that remained, but something in her fluttered to hear it now.

It was beautiful, fervent, so alive and real.

It was horrible. It was as if someone had taken what she read about the people she hailed from, blended it harshly with the daydreams she’d invented about herself among them, and saturated everything beyond what could make sense.

NaNoWriMo Day 15

Neon BrightLeave a comment

I finished writing last night at like an hour to midnight, so I decided to save the excerpt post. I was tired and it was time for bed, but also I got through a pretty fun scene so that’s exciting! 😀

Sometimes, the members of this DID system need to have a one-on-one to get a better understanding of each other. Riddle happens to be very guarded and harder to understand by his own choosing, but he’s still a good Riddle, and Finn knows this. 

Word count: 30104

Excerpt:

Finnraal gasped as his foot settled down on dry, dusty stone that he couldn’t have hoped to see. The annoyance that sparked all around him told him what he needed to know. He’d found Riddle at the bottom of the well, and the shadowy headmate didn’t want him there in the least.

“Whatcha doing down here, Finnraal?” Riddle’s voice came from all around and nowhere, and Finnraal had to control his breathing. Riddle knew everyone’s fears and admitted to none of his own.

He used to cause nightmares for Finnraal and Kala especially, and sometimes Azul too. At the time, it had felt like such a malicious thing. He’d always been so quick to remind Finnraal especially of his failings, of his fears, of his regrets. In the name of being practical, Riddle used to be as mean as they come.

It had taken a long time for Finnraal to understand why, and even then there were depths he hadn’t reached.

It was time to stop avoiding that.

NaNoWriMo Day 14

Neon BrightLeave a comment

I’m hitting a bit of a mid month slump, but that’s nothing I can’t handle! I have a few ideas for how to get myself energized again, and as always I have a great cast of characters to help me through it, too.

Word Count: 28374

Excerpt:

Azul glanced up and furrowed her brow. She hadn’t meant to come so close to the front, and her heart pounded. It felt strange to visit the body. It was bigger than what she felt like she should be, stronger. All the strength in her hands and she still feared what might happen. 

Verde was close, but she didn’t pay much attention to them at first. She glanced around the big underground room, lingering on the hanging lanterns. They weren’t as soft as the lanterns in the inner world, but they were still pretty.

The real world could be beautiful. Beautiful and terrifying.

NaNoWriMo Day 8

Neon BrightLeave a comment

I skate in before midnight on my timezone. I made it. Somehow. It was kind of a long week, so I procrastinated a bit. But! I had fun with some more new characters. Including another of Finnraal’s headmates, Kala.

Word count: 16800

Excerpt: 

Kala huffed out a sigh. “Riddle?”

“Um. No. I’m sorry, this is a bit tricky.”

She opened her mouth to respond, and then closed it again with a slight shake of the head. The voice wasn’t familiar at all. It didn’t belong to any of the headmates she knew. For a moment, she wondered if maybe someone else had been born after the stress of the day. It would explain why Finnraal was still impossible to reach.

Finally, she decided to be straightforward. “Who are you?”

“I’m. Well, my name is Percival,” that voice said. “I’m trying to contact you through a dream, but all I see is … I think it’s a well.”

“Then you’re not in my dream,” Kala said flatly. “If I’m sharing dreams with Riddle I’m going to scream.”

“Oh. Ah! I understand!”

NaNoWriMo Day 4

Neon BrightLeave a comment

Things were slow today! I’m very late in finishing it up, but I think I did okay. To clarify something, Finnraal has Dissociative Identity Disorder! That term doesn’t necessarily exist in Muunfel, though, nor does some of the understanding we have of it in the real world. I’ve been working on the character for a while, though I want to preface this by saying I still have a lot more research to do on how to depict DID in a fantasy setting. These excerpts are meant as WIPs only; once I’ve had some sensitivity readers for the story, it should be a lot more solid!

Word Count: 8733

Excerpt:

The world above was an uncomfortable sort of thing. Everything, everyone felt like a charade of sorts, like the settings and actors of a play. Riddle didn’t trust them, and he didn’t think the others should trust them on principle, either. Maybe it was because he made a point of knowing the least trustworthy people he could find when he was out front.

Information was one of the most important commodities he could possibly gather. More than money, more than spare parts from the shops, maybe even more than food. Information paid like the most sparkling diamonds, if one knew how to spin it. Riddle was good at collecting it. Finnraal and Kala were good at turning it into something else.

His contacts never stayed in the same place for long, but they always left signs for those who knew how to look. Signs leading to their latest nest would be found in the alleys and back roads of the bustling city.

Riddle hadn’t gone to them in some time. He almost worried he had lost his edge with finding the signs, but he noticed a series of notches carved into a signpost. Progress at last. Is anyone watching?

Yes, good job, Finnraal thought drily from within. This is literally why you’re the one in front right now.

“You want my help and this is how you repay it,” Riddle muttered. He snickered as a general sense of disapproval surged out of his audience, and didn’t pay it much mind. He could have fun in the real world, even if no one else appreciated his ways.